Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Randomize
