Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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