That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
