So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
