I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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