I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
