i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
