So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
