sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
