is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
