i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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