You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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