I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
