first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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