Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
