i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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