I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
