So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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