Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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