i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
