For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize