i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
