Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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