I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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