Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
