My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize