from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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