She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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