U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
