Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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