I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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