She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
