I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
