I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
