I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
