how can u be prego again
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
