I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
