she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
