Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
