so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
