She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
