i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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