I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
