i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
