I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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