I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
