At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
