We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
