hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
