you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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