So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
