whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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