but the lizard people decide everything anyway
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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