so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
