the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Oh god it's open bar.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
