i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
