Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
