We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
