She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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