Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
