I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
