the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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