there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
