party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
