i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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