Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
