my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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