so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
