You can't motorboat a personality
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
