My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Do vagina's smell?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
