im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
