i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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