his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
