Dual....:-)
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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