everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I love you. Go after that dick
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
