Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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