Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
